Chewy Declares: "Moss's Mercedes is a Lease!"

With election day right around the corner, we should prepare ourselves for some serious mudslinging. Jason “Chewy” Cohen fired the first shot yesterday with his some comments concerning Moss’s personal finances.

“He can’t afford that car,” commented Chewy during a campaign rally in Pensacola, Florida. “You want to know why I’m here in the great state of Pensacola and he’s not?” continued Cohen to a laughing crowd, “It’s because he’s over the allotted miles on his leased Mercedes! It costs him money every time he drives the thing because he’s irresponsible with his miles. . . Is this really who people want to elect?”

We attempted to contact Prestige Motors in Boca Raton to confirm this accusation. Unfortunately our calls were not returned.

“If Chewy’s accusation is confirmed, it could have implications on June 13th” says political commentator Mauricio Bayon. “Some people would have a difficult time voting for a candidate who they don’t trust to balance the budget. If Moskowitz isn’t responsible enough to budget the miles on his automobile, why would voters trust him with bigger, more complex issues?”