A female source, who declined to identify herself, has contacted reporters concerning Moss, a candidate in the upcoming election. The unidentified woman claims that she met Moskowitz on the internet and went on two dates with him. She also cited countless phone conversations with the candidate. The woman describes Moskowitz as having behaved strangely during their brief acquaintanceship and says that he made her feel uncomfortable during their phone conversations.
“On the phone he kept asking me about my nail polish and the style of manicure which I usually prefer,” stated the woman “Then when we met he insisted that I tell him the name of the designer of the shoes which I was wearing. Our second date was uneventful, except that instead of trying to kiss me, he ACTUALLY asked me if I would shave his chest. After that I knew that it was time to ‘run for the hills.’”
A spokesman for Moskowitz would not comment on the unidentified woman except to state that he believed the entire story to be fabricated. In a close election such as this one, it’s easy to wonder what effect a story like this one, true or not, will have on voters.
5 comments:
As the official campaign spokesperson for the Moskowitz campaign, I need to let all voters and especially all our fans know that as we approach crunch time, there will be a lot of rumors swirling around. It is sort of like "No Holds Barred." I remember all of the rumors during the Governor's race out here in California when Schwarzenager had to deal with all of these false rumors that he could not bench press 350 lbs. They even went so far as to say he used a stunt double in Kindergarten Cop. The nerve of some people. I received a call from TMZ.com yesterday claiming that Moss has been banned from Sweet Tomatoes for counting calories and trying to stuff Muffins in this Louis Vitton Briefcase. All I ask is that Chewy play fair, but if he wants a "War", Moskowitz and the rest of his camp are prepared for battle. Moss would like to thank all his supporters and I ask that you all please say a prayer for his dear friend Paris as she goes through this horrible ordeal.
I went out with Moss on a few dates. On the first date, I baked cookies and went over his house. (nothing happened). By the 3rd date I thought I was going to change him from "VIR" status. But all Moss wanted to do was cuddle?
Sincerely,
Kitty Cat
This is like the Special Olympics of Politics. Both candidates seem to have a touch of Down's. Moss seems to only have a slight lead in Chromosomes.... Dr. Evan, will you concur with this observation? If Moss grows his hair back to when he resembled legendary 80's superstar Richard Marx, I think I could swing the whole California vote towards him.
I agree with most of McGuire's analysis ... all except for the "touch of down's" comment. Moss and Chewy seem to be suffering from way more than just a "touch" of Down's Syndrome. It seems to me that Mr. Down and his syndrome got up and beat the crap out of them.
What happened to that picture of Allison in blackface . . . that was hot!
Post a Comment